Sirenita

Today is the day that we go to war in Iraq. I am in such a numb fury about the whole thing that only response I can think of is to ignore everything as much as possible. I walked into my work staring at the ceiling and humming tunelessly, which thankfully was nearly unnoticed because this, after all, is the hospital that has an attached VA and odd behavior is not noteworthy. Yesterday, for instance, a grown man wearing a spiderman sweatshirt, a crash helmet and a visible colostomy bag wobbled past me on the way into the building. When he got even with me, he pointed to himself, said “Meeeeeeeeeeee!” and waved his fingers at me in a sort of “toodles” wave.

On the bus this morning, I saw the extremely large woman who has seated herself next to me before and slowly, oozingly, suffocatingly taken over my seat as well as hers (it’s like being engulfed by a sea creature that smells like Ban Roll-On, and I know I should be grateful for the Roll-On but I am NOT). During the course of my busride, she moved and took over the adjoining seats of three different people. The bus wasn’t that full. She just enjoys sitting next to people and then eating them. With her ass.

Also on the bus this morning were three probably 14 year old girls who were discussing their prowess at “scrappin’.” My favorite piece of dialogue about that ran as follows:

“…So then I picked up a big ol stick an’ WHAM hit her right in the goddamn head but she didn’t stop til I kicked her in the face!”

“Oh no you DIDDIN. You fuckin crazy. A stick? you hit her with a stick?”

“I AIN crazy, biyotch, she hit me with a stick firs’. Feel right here.”

“Ewwww”

“See, s’all squishy like you can put your finger in and screw wit my BRAIN. Feel like I got a BABY SPOT now.”

So I am going to go around all day today and try to work “Feel like I got a BABY SPOT now” into my conversation. Which is going to be difficult, unless of course I manage to get hit in the head with a stick here at the Institute.