Sirenita

FastPitcher719: u wanna chat?

papsmeary: About what?

FastPitcher719: wut ever u want

FastPitcher719: wuts ur name?

papsmeary: Pap Smeary. Short for Papricia.

FastPitcher719: oh

FastPitcher719: a/s/l?

papsmeary: 16, F, blonde, blue, big gaping windsock of a pussy.

papsmeary: I mean, you could fit your whole head inside this thing,
it’s huge.

FastPitcher719: lol

FastPitcher719: im 19/m

papsmeary: I’m serious. If you yelled into it, it would echo.

FastPitcher719: my name is matt

FastPitcher719: pic?

papsmeary: Hello Matt. And what brings you to decide you’d like to
talk to women with gigantic prehensile labia today?

papsmeary: Oh, you send ME one first.

FastPitcher719: i dont have a scanner

papsmeary: Well then, we’re out of luck. HOwever: I am hot hot hot.
Except for the fact that I can’t fit into any pants, due to the giant
labia. And what do you look like?

FastPitcher719: awsome im likin u

FastPitcher719: blonde hair green eyes

FastPitcher719: big thing

papsmeary: Yes, entire committees of men like me. You have a “big
thing.” Hmmm.

papsmeary: Can you reach it with your own mouth, this thing you have?

papsmeary: Go on, give it a try. Your mom’s not around. Or if she
is, maybe she’ll join in.

FastPitcher719: yeah i can

papsmeary: This is an excellent skill for a young boy to have.

FastPitcher719: ur yunger than me

papsmeary: I suggest demonstrating this skill to as many people as
possible.

papsmeary: You’re swift on the uptake, I see!

FastPitcher719: yup

papsmeary: And……?

FastPitcher719: and wut?

papsmeary: I want to know if you’re currently pantsless. I like to
know that everyone I’m chatting with is wearing no pants at all.

papsmeary: Take your pants off now, and place your big thing on your
keyboard, please.

papsmeary: Are you doing this?

FastPitcher719: yeah

FastPitcher719: can u give me a blow job?

papsmeary: Okay, now sort of beat it up and down on the keyboard. I
can estimate about how long it is by how many keys you can hit with it.

papsmeary: Come on, hurry it up!

FastPitcher719: nbfjdfbjklglhnm;jhgm b,dm jiho6jrtikmhb
.nmdgjklcnkdl;/ldhfnbvklisfhytger7yt058978ujtg 0oe489

papsmeary: I see by this that you are suffering from an alarming
shrinking and expanding problem.

FastPitcher719: yeah

FastPitcher719: ok already give me a blow job

papsmeary: I assume this is an erectile difficulty you’re having.
Don’t worry. Lots of men have them. Would you like me to forward you
this email I just got on a cheap deal for viagra?

FastPitcher719: no

papsmeary: I can’t give you a blow job right now because my jaw is
wired shut. It’s a new weight loss program I’m trying. I weigh 470
pounds but this way, I can’t eat solid food and I’m losing some weight.

papsmeary: Have you ever tried a hotdog milkshake?

FastPitcher719: no

papsmeary: They’re pretty good. That’s mostly what I’ve been eating
lately.

FastPitcher719: as good as u?

FastPitcher719: i wanna eat u

papsmeary: I am almost but not quite as tasty as a
hotdog milkshake, it’s true.

papsmeary: What part of me do you want to eat?

FastPitcher719: all of u

papsmeary: I suppose I should tell you that I’m on the
rag right now.

papsmeary: Do you still want me?

FastPitcher719: wut?

papsmeary: I. Am. On. The. Rag. Visiting. With.
Aunt. Flo. Bleeding. Like. A. Stuck. Pig.

papsmeary: Do you still want to eat me?

FastPitcher719: yeah

papsmeary: I have a really bad yeast infection, I hope
that’s cool with you.

FastPitcher719: yup

FastPitcher719: nothing can stop me

papsmeary: It’s chunky.

FastPitcher719: thats ok

papsmeary: Okay, you start.

FastPitcher719: start wut?

papsmeary: Eating. Wasn’t that what we were talking
about?

FastPitcher719: yeah

papsmeary: Okay, so you start. Go ahead.

FastPitcher719: can u please try to give me a blow job?

FastPitcher719: wow ur ganna burn my tongue

papsmeary: You want a blow job from a 470 pound
hotdog-farting girl with a giant bleeding pussy and a yeast
infection. You want this even though you can give YOURSELF
a blow job. You are my kind of man.

FastPitcher719: yup

papsmeary: It’s too bad about that limp dick problem
you have.

FastPitcher719: yeah but still give me a blow job please i
really want u to

FastPitcher719: then i’ll do anything for u

FastPitcher719: go on
FastPitcher719: u there?

papsmeary: Okay, pound your big thing on your keyboard
again to get me all hot and ready.

FastPitcher719:
erdfcvrvrthjjmikol.;/op’/P:o.liokl.jkmuighnfgbdfgdsfsdfcdfbghnnfrfygui7y
89uoi675t 78dfghfuygj hn79r452343ujhjkgvhjgljkub
iuouiy8989896yv75tjg78tbbbbb0897[m,907n9p;7o

papsmeary: I was just trying to unstick my pussy from
my office chair. The suction gets really bad sometimes.

papsmeary: Okay, describe your thing.

FastPitcher719: big and taste

papsmeary: big and taste. Taste like what?

FastPitcher719: no i ment tasty

papsmeary: I still want to know what it tastes like.
That makes me all hot.

papsmeary: Lick it and tell me.

FastPitcher719: i dont no how to discribe it

papsmeary: Oh come on. Salty? Sweet? like a
butterfinger?

FastPitcher719: sweet

papsmeary: I taste like hotdogs. Especially if I
don’t wipe.

FastPitcher719: yuk

(he logs off at this point, finally, breaking my heart.)